Generally speaking we are never taught how to love and be in a relationship and by the same token we are never really taught how to deal with a break up, its normally an intuitive process. The trauma and grief involved is very much as though someone died. It doesn’t help that there are reminders of the relationship around you all the time. Depending on how long you were together, the break up is your cue to go insane and feel as though your whole world has just collapsed around you. The gaping hole left in your life seems impossible to fill and you start trying to reach out to your ex by either calling them when you’ve had a few drinks and when they stop answering their phones, but sending a zillion text messages that get more and more desperate in their tone as communication between you and your ex breaks down completely.
Probably the most painful emotion was the feeling of loss coupled with a feeling of drowning in a infinite sea of loneliness. I didn’t want to be apart from my ex and that predominately drove me to keep asking myself the question WHY, over and over again. Which in turn pushed me to try and communicate with my ex to find some answers which ultimately leads to behaving in a way that cements the break up once and for all with no way back in. Even though common sense tells you to act in a respectful and mature manner, your heart literally makes you do the opposite. As I said earlier, you’re never taught the rules of getting back together with an ex, you simply have to learn on the job. Which is clearly hit or miss!!
If this scenario sounds familiar, don’t worry we’ve all been through it. You’re not the first and you certainly won’t be the last whose needed some help in getting back together with an ex. When I broke up with my ex, I was pushed over the edge by the grief and pain of loss. I didn’t manage my emotions at all and after a few weeks, I looked as though I’d spent a month on a park bench. I really had hit rock bottom and was struggling to just live a normal life. I’d used my friends as a support structure, but there’s only so much they can take as some of our mutual friends were struggling with my barrage of questions about my ex.
Click here to learn about the first moves you should be making to help you get your ex back
